The Year in Hussiness, Or What I’ve Learned in 2009
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I hadn’t planned on trying to close out the year with any visible form of exploration, but I was inspired by a few very smart folks and now I cannot help myself.
I never intended for this blog to be personal. I thought I could write about a few issues here and there and keep it moving, but I found that to be a lie I told myself. There was no way I could keep my life tied up neatly in a box and hidden on a shelf and frankly, I no longer want to even attempt to. So with that, here you go:
1. Do Something, Anything
If you have a decision to make, just make it. Don’t sit on your butt mentally expounding on what you might/might not do. It’s a waste of time and will leave you stagnant. Who wants to be stagnant or stale? Not me. There is nothing wrong with weighing your options. We need to do that, but the problem comes in when we cannot get past the options. This year, I had a decision to make and after I made it, it was like a weight had lifted from my shoulders. It was difficult, but I did it and so can you. Make a choice and go on to live your life.
2. You Get What You Give
If your relationships suck, then you probably suck. Seriously, look to yourself when it comes to your problems; not externally. It is so easy to blame others for what is wrong or what you perceive to be wrong. It’s a lot easier to self-correct or alter our outlook than it is to get others to change. Whatever you want out of any relationship, job, or experience, you must be willing to put in.
3. Cultivate Your Friendships
This year, I made a conscious choice to enjoy my friends and make new ones. In fact, I have been on more “dates” with my female friends this year alone than I have in the past 5 years. I am happy to say that my women friends are truly diverse: culturally, financially, sexually, etc. and I have gained so much from them. My life has truly been enriched by the women I fellowship with in the real and virtual worlds. Hopefully, I have contributed to their lives as well.
4. Believe It When People Tell You Who They Are
Yes, it is cliche. I know this, but it is true. Never let your emotions cloud your ability to rationalize or reason. This year, someone entered my life and instead of paying close attention to who they were, I saw what I wanted to see and heard what I wanted to hear and in doing so, got scorched a bit. If I had just payed attention and kept my wits about me…but I digress. It was a worthwhile lesson and I am much better for it. Much better.
5. Love Hard, Embrace Vulnerability
I am not asking you to be naive or become a doormat. Nope, not me. I am asking everyone who reads this to open themselves up to the possibilities. I am asking you to let the walls you have built around yourself (for whatever reason) to crumble just a bit. Love, contrary to what we have been taught, is not just an emotion. In fact it is an action, a part of your being. This year, I have learned to “do” love with my friends, family and students and I am a much better mother, lover, educator and friend.
So now you kinda know a little of my business and I hope this means you know me a bit more. I strive to grow with each passing day and try to see the lesson in everything.
May your 2010 be amazing! See you on the other side.
The Princess and the Frog {TH’s 2 Cents}
Disney’s new film “The Princess and the Frog” has sparked a lot of conversation primarily because Tiana, the princess is black. As adults we have plenty to say about the effects of the film, whether it’ll impact young black girls in a positive manner and if it portrays black folks/New Orleans/voodoo objectively.
That’s all well and good, but I think it’s vitally important to hear what someone from the film’s target audience has to say. TH, my fabulous assistant, went on a fieldtrip with several kindergarten and first-grade classes from her school to see the film. She was kind enough to take some time out from her hectic schedule to answer a few questions.
*Please note, TH is five, so her discussion of the film is probably not in sequential order and she probably only remembered the parts she liked. We’re working on those skills.
SH: So I hear you went to see a movie today. What was the name of it again?
TH: The Princess and the Frog! *giggles*
SH: Did you like it?
TH: Oh mommy, it was fabulous and funny and hilarious!
SH: Really? So tell me what happened.
TH: There was a girl and she had a mommy and daddy, just like me!
SH: What was the girl’s name?
TH: Tiana.
SH: What did she look like?
TH: Oh, she was pretty and her face was brown, like me.
SH: Wow!! So what happened?
TH: There was a firefly bug and an alligator. The alligator was big. The alligator played the horn and they were dancing. *pretends to play the horn*
SH: That sounds like a lot of fun! What else happened?
TH: The songs were good. I liked the songs because they were funny.
SH: That’s great! So were there other people in the movie, or just Tiana and her mommy and daddy?
TH: Mommy, you are silly. There were more people and animals too!
SH: Ok, and they were?
TH: They were in the city. The city was big. There was a boy with a hat and a man with a purple suit and a really big hat. I forgot his name. There was a nice lady. She lived in a treehouse in the woods. She was loud too and had a snake. Can I have a snake?
SH: No.
TH: Oh, the man with the big hat had on a scary necklace. And there was another boy with a white face and tiny eyes.
SH: That sounds like a lot going on. So what happened?
TH: We ate peanut butter andd jelly and had apple juice. I spilled some on my jacket.
SH: I know. I cleaned your jacket. What happened in the movie?
TH: The man with the big hat made the prince into a frog. The prince had big shoulders like you mommy.
SH: Um, ok. (o_O)
TH: Then the frog was at the pond and said ribbit and Tiana was at the pond and the frog kissed her and made her face slimy and she became a frog too.
SH: Wow, that sounds crazy. What happened next?
TH: It was crazy mommy. then there was a lot of singing and music and they saw the old lady in the tree and there was a parade and then the boy frog kissed Tiana frog and she turned into a princess and he was a handsome boy again with a brown face. She was a beautiful princess mommy. She had on a princess dress and a princess hat and lipgloss. *does the princess praise dance*
SH: So would you say it was a good movie?
TH: Oh yes, I want to see it again.
So there you have it. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but it’s on our holiday list of things to do. After talking to TH, I looked up the film summary and for a five year old, she remembered a lot. Again, it was probably what she wanted to remember. It was interesting to note how it seems like she paid more attention to the brown faces and singing/dancing animals than any of the white characters. That could be because the white characters were secondary in the film.
While the cultural critics and pundits are dissecting The Princess and the Frog for the masses, please remember this: no single film is going to raise or lower the self-esteem or self-worth of a collective group, however, it is important to make sure that films and other forms of media are discussed with our children in an age-appropriate manner. Yes, there are probably faults with the movie, as there usually are when it comes to any media, but we shouldn’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.
When we are thoughtful and objective we can build and improve upon what has come before.
Black Friday…Indeed!
As you all recover from the collective itis and prepare to engage in mass consumerism for the Christmas, Chanukah, and Kwanzaa season, support women of color owned/operated businesses. In case you don’t know any, here’s a short list:
And of course, the Super Hussy Shop.
Buy something fabulous and help keep money circulating within our communities. Please feel free to add to this list in the comment section.
Note: None of these business owners asked me to list hem. In fact, none of the knew about this post prior to it being published.
